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Friend bought from breeder

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Dear Labby,

I strongly believe that buying pets from a breeder is wrong. Especially when there are so many shelter dogs who get overlooked--and desperately need a home. Recently, an acquaintance bought a Yorkie from a breeder in the next state over. She is having a "puppy shower" and I don't want to attend. I'd like to be honest about why, but a mutual friend thinks I should just say I have other plans. What do you think?

Signed:

Joyless about Unpedigreed Dogs Getting Ignored Everywhere

Well, J.U.D.G.I.E, here's what etiquette says: If you are not comfortable attending, just tell your acquaintance you can't make it and leave it at that. But let me guess, that doesn't quite feel like enough, right?

It's likely that being honest could cause a riff in your relationship, so you need to ask yourself if it's worth it. Instead, and at the risk of sounding like Mr. Caldwell (my high school guidance counselor), could you use this opportunity to educate your peers?

Perhaps when the time comes for the new mom to open shower gifts, you could explain why you chose to make a donation to your local animal shelter instead of bringing a monogrammed doggie sweater or emerald-encrusted leash to the party. Maybe mention you know about a great little Chihuahua from the Humane Society who is looking for a home.

One extra note of advice: If you do end up attending, it might be a good idea to put some thought into your remarks before you make them. Many of us (Dear Labby included) have to work on our holier-than-thou attitude when it comes to animal issues. We'll reach more people if we swap accusatory, judgmental digs for facts delivered with a level-headed indoor voice.

Vegetarian starter-kit, anyone?

Got a petiquette question for Dear Labby? Email dearlabby@dogtime.com

Read all Dear Labby installments.


66 comments | Leave your own comment

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Comments

Avatar “Having been a vet tech for years, I feel I can comment on this. I think people have to understand the difference between puppy mills (which are horrific!) and a small family breeder. I am just as passionate as you are about puppy mills, I absolutely DETEST animal abuse in any form!! But I have also taken care of puppies and parents of small family breeders, who are completely responsible pet owners. They devote their lives to the breed of their choice. I think it is unfair to include them in the whole "puppy mill" controversy.

I'm 56, have always had pets, and all of my animals have always been rescues. However, I just bought my first pup from a small breeder. I've wanted a Bernese Mtn. Dog for probably twenty years and when I found a gal here in town, I jumped at the chance. And what is more I am going to breed her in two years time. I still have two rescued cats and a rescued dog in my family and they are treasured pets to me. So is this feisty bundle of joy I have now.” — Kim , Mar 07 2010

Avatar “I am also a believer of rescuing a pet from a shelter but I also agree that a person has a right to choose and there are a lot of reputable breeders. If a person is so concerned maybe they should take their energies and work towards putting an end to Puppy Mills and animal abuse.” — Donna , Feb 23 2010

Avatar “I chose to purchase my pup, an Alaskan Malamute, rather than rescue after great inner debate for a very specific reason: I'm handicapped. It made the most sense to us to get a very young puppy so we would be able to train him to interact and walk on the leash carefully with me, rather than an older dog that had already been trained to certain habits.
Judge not too harshly the dog purchaser. The reasons may make more sense than is readily apparent. ” — Heather, Feb 23 2010

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