I chewed up all your sneakers. Now you never have to leave me again.
Dog: What my parents think I do. What my boss thinks I do. What my friends think I do. What I think I do. What society thinks I do. What I really do.
Why don't you take me for a walk? You could use the exercise.
Begs you to throw toy. Puts up a fight when you try to take it.
I guess...we'll never know who did it.
A squirrel is just a tennis ball thrown by God.
Uh, you run a chocolate lab? I am a Chocolate Lab.
By your standards, I'm dumb. By my standards, you're blind, deaf and suffering from chronic olfactory dysfunction. Let's keep judging each other. I like this game.
A day may come when the courage of men fails. When we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day.
Sees that you're scared of him. Stays away so you won't be scared.
I just wanted to eat but you lit my food on fire.
That feeling when a cop follows you all the way home from work.
I wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger... and then it hit me!
Get a human they said. It will be fun they said.
I don't know man, I just...what if I never find out who's a good boy?
You mean to tell me the ball was in your hand the whole time?
At first we were all like...but then we were like.
Sometimes I like to squirrel.
Day 33, they still suspect nothing.
Escape attempt: 5% complete
Hyper awake. Hyper asleep.
He's behind me, isn't he?
And later on...when you learn to walk and run, we can chase cats!
I have to pee, bit it's raining outside.
So, your owner made you fetch the ball, but they actually never threw it? I'd say you have a strong case for fraud.
Hey cat! Imma boop your head! LOL!
My advice is to invest in tennis balls. They have a high rate of return.
I don't always bark at night. But when I do, it's for no reason.
Wait a second...I don't think this is the park at all...
You threw it, you fetch.
I'm going to piss all over his piss. That will show him.
I've never worked with that cat in accounting. But he usually has good candy in that sandbox under his desk.
Last time I played outside, the humans sent me to the dog house for tracking dirt all over the kitchen. This time, I'm takin' a bath before I go home! My humans are gonna be so proud of me!
This is wrong — I'm actually 14.
One day you will reach the handle, and can both go out to pee.
Let me in — I need to go back out again.
It's very important to stretch before chasing mailmen.
I did the math. We can't afford the cat.
What I see. What my dogs see.
Day 21: I think Roger is starting to get suspicious.
I thought you were never ever ever ever coming home ever, so I panicked.
Today is the day, I can feel it. Today I will catch that tail.
Oh, you ran a marathon? How heavy was the sled?
My mom was a tiger. My dad was a brave dog.