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Loss of pet and grief

QUESTION:

My dog was diagnosed with cancer and died several months later. I'm devastated. How can I cope with this grief?

answered by Sherri Franklin

ANSWER:

The death of your best friend may very well be the most painful experience you ever go through. It's not uncommon for people who have lost a pet to literally ask themselves how they can go on.

After all, losing an animal companion can be very different than losing a human loved one. You've not only shared so many moments together--playful, tender, difficult, and joyous--your dog has loved you deeply and unconditionally, without question or judgment.

As for dealing with that loss, different coping mechanisms work for different people. No matter how you cope, it's important to honor your time together and acknowledge the loss in a way that's meaningful and comforting for you. You may be inspired to put up pictures or create a shrine incorporating your dog's collar and a candle. Or it may feel right to display a memorial urn.

Sometimes simply sharing your grief with understanding friends, especially those who have dogs or who have lost them, can be tremendous consolation. Many humane societies offer grief counseling or support groups that allow you to discuss these feelings of loss with others.

Above all, don't hold back the tears and don't pressure yourself to recover sooner than you're ready. Know that it is perfectly normal--unavoidable, really--to feel this loss down to your very core.


Sherri Franklin is the founder of Muttville, a San Francisco–based recue center focusing on senior and special needs dogs.

Read more about Sherri Franklin in the DogTime expert center...

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Comments

AvatarMy dog died back in March of 08 from cancer. She was only 5 years old. That little dog was my heart and soul, my best friend, and always gave me her unconditional love. I miss her so much! It's been over a year and a half and I still cry everyday. I feel as if my heart was ripped right out of my chest. The grief can be so overwhelming at times, and I wonder if I'll ever get over it. This dog meant the world to me. ” — Shelly, Nov 06 2009

0812081833a_thumbnailI lost my westie today (11/4/09). He was 12 years old. He just got sick quickly and before I knew it he was gone. The vet even took him home to give him medicine all night. We got a call this morning saying he was flat lining and the vet tried for 15 minutes to bring him back but it did not work. He is gone. He is gone. I am in such grief and pain. I don't know how I am going to get over it. The pain is so bad. I just keep crying. He was my best friend.” — cvlmickeymouse, Nov 04 2009

AvatarI had a pet memorial tribute made when my dog died. It was a touching video that highlighted all the years of her life and the fun we had with her. It also helped my children deal with their grief because when we watched it together they would talk about her and what she meant to them. I just sent my photos of her in and had it back in a week. One place that makes them is www.pawsawhilevtc.com” — deeg, Mar 15 2008

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