My Bulldog, Meatballs, is really gassy. The problem is that my roommate can’t stand it. Each time Meatballs farts, my roommate complains, swears, and tells me to take the dog outside. Well, taking the dog outside after she farts isn’t going to do much good. How do I say that to my roommate without sounding like I’m just being lazy or inconsiderate?
Simply Unwilling to Let Flatulence Upend Roommate
Dear Simply Unwilling to Let Flatulence Upend Roommate,
My guess, S.U.L.F.U.R., is that your roommate’s reaction is not so much a conscious request to remove the dog, but a plea for pre-emptive action in the future. Much like when we tell the telemarketer, “Can’t talk, I’m in the middle of surgery.” It’s not like we’re trying to get those 20 seconds we spent on the phone back; what we really want is for them not to call during dinner tomorrow night.
Have you tried switching Meatballs to a different dog food? Or even more importantly, talked to your vet about the potential causes? If not, do so – and let your roommate know you’re working on it.
Meanwhile, make sure Meatballs gets plenty of exercise and a bathroom break after each meal. If there’s a certain hour of the day she’s particularly prodigious, consider spending quality time with the dog in a part of the home where your roommate isn’t.
Another fun solution is a Fart Jar. It works just like a Swear Jar. Every time Meatballs farts, put a dollar in the jar for your roommate. Depending on your financial situation, this could be a fun solution and might take the edge off of what’s going on.
You could also invest in some quality air fresheners as well. Not the cheap ones, but the really nice ones with a timer that go off every hour. A quality fan for the common rooms could help dissipate the smell faster.
As for how to respond when the offense does occur, “Limburger cheese puffs, anyone?”