August 10th is Spoil Your Dog Day!
Your dog works hard. Like, really hard. They put in forty hours a week at the home office, help you clean up dropped food items off the floor, and are always excited to see you when you get home. For most of us, our pups are the glue that keep us together and sane. Next time you see your dog doing one of these things, remember how hard they work and LET THEM DO IT!
1. Take Over The Entire Bed
Sure, you’re a human and are probably bigger than your dog, but your dog deserves to take over as much of the bed as he pleases. Don’t you remember how he pretty much put together that entire Ikea bed frame by himself? He does. Don’t test him.
2. Take Out The Trash
Your pup knows that you have had a hard week, and the last thing they want you to do is to stress over a smelly garbage. Don’t worry, Fido is here to help. So what if he decides to take it out piece by piece? There is CLEARLY a method to your dog’s cleaning habits. The garbage is going to get out of your house…eventually.
3. Try Experimental Bathroom Practices
Your dog knows that sometimes, it’s hard for you to take them out exactly when they need to go. They know you are pooped and very into the series you are binging on Netflix. Why bother you and let you know they need to go outside when they can simply find a clever place to take care of their business indoors? You really should get rid of that tattered blouse you left on the floor, anyway.
4. Make sure YOU are using the bathroom
Your dog knows that your eating habits have been less than stellar, so she is going to join you every time you go to the bathroom. She’s not just sitting at your feet because she wants to be near you, she is tracking your bowel movements. Once you are done, your pup may even take it a step further and suggest some healthier snacks for you, like the small rodent she killed earlier and hid underneath your couch. The least you can do is say “Thank you.”
5. Draw themselves a nice toilet bath
Um, you weren’t home, so your dog had to lift the toilet seat by himself and fit as much of his body in there as possible. He spent all morning paying bills, so he decided to treat himself with a nice bath. Deal with it.
6. Do The Dishes
You left take out on the coffee table. Max decided to lick all of the plastic ware clean and spread the rest of the leftovers on the floor so he could plan his midday snack accordingly. He paid for half of that Grubhub delivery. Don’t hate.
7. Alert you of possible intruders
After helping you out with that mortgage, half of this house is essentially your dog’s. She wants it to be safe, too. If there is a car going by, another person walking their dog, or God forbid, the mailman, she is going to sound the alarm. She may even go as far as to come grab you, just to remind you of what an amazing roommate and friend she is being by alerting you.
8. Go through your laundry
Remember that Victoria’s Secret coupon you just used? Your dog does. In fact, if memory serves correctly, your dog was the one who signed you up for those coupons. Don’t go thinking those new panties are just for you. Your pup is completely in the right to dig through your dirty laundry and tear up as many panties as she desires.
9. Dig for gold in the backyard
Your dog knows that money has been tight the past couple of months – he had to lend you all of that money for your car payment, remember? He is doing you a favor by digging up the entirety of your backyard in hopes of oil or gold. The mud he drags through the house is just a subtle reminder of how much hard work he is doing.
10. Fart in your bedroom and then leave
Your dog has been taking some community college courses online on psychology and knows that you shouldn’t be sleeping in as late as you are – it’s a sure sign of depression. To make sure you get up and start your day, he is going to enter your room, gas it up, and then leave. The smell may be horrible, but it’s the thought that counts. After 20 more class hours, he’s going to have his doctorate and may introduce farting on your pillow into his treatment.
What does your dog deserve to do?