Chelsea Handler has two dogs named Bert and Bernice. She loves them, but there has been some tension between them lately. So, she did what any loving dog owner would do: She took them to pet psychic Ellen Lance to sort it out on national television. Lance, who is also an “animal communicator,” uses photos to access the consciousness of an animal, in this case before she met Bert and Bernice.
Here are a few snippets of their (tongue-in-cheek) conversation on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Dogs Introduced to Pet Psychic
Ellen Lance (EL): I told your dogs yesterday that I have treats for them.
Chelsea Handler (CH): You said that to their photos?
EL: Well, yes, to your dogs. When I said I have treats for you, they said, “You have to check with our mom first.”
CH: I am technically their birth mother, but they love my housekeeper. They think she is their mother and that I am some slutty au pair who comes sauntering through the house every few weeks. I am their second choice.
Bert is so upset when she leaves, that he slams his head on the ground and is in a blackout until the next morning.
EL: You are going to think this is strange, but it’s all about [Bernice]. Bert is acting out on behalf of his sister.
CH: (Calls her dogs over, tells them to sit and stay).
EL: Bernice doesn’t like being bossed. She is jealous of your career and wants you to stay home.
CH: My housekeeper takes the dogs for weekends. I am away a lot.
EL: I know you are away a lot. Your dogs told me.
CH: My housekeeper sends me pictures when she has them weekends, including photos of them in bed with her son Fernando. They look pretty close. Bernice doesn’t sleep under the covers with me. I want to know what she is up to with Fernando. Is she sending those pics to taunt me?
EL: You are asking me to read your housekeeper. Bernice says you move around in bed a lot.
CH: Is she spending the night with Fernando under the covers?
EL: Let me ask Bernice. (Closes her eyes for a minute). Yes, they put her under the covers, but she doesn’t spend the entire night because it is too hot.
CH: Okay I know those pics are staged.
EL: Have fun and show your love to them.
Handler’s First Dog
CH: The first dog I ever rescued was Chuck. (Shows EL a picture of Chuck). Tell him I said hello.
EL: Chuck says his purpose with you was to teach you self-worth.
CH: Well that doesn’t make any sense at all. I hope he didn’t fail. In summary, I will be more present with them when I am at home.
EL: Just have fun with them, show your love to them.
CH: You mean, instead of being desperate? Okay, I am a human psychic.
Watch Handler and Lance’s full conversation below.
