Man walks into a rescue... and walks out a Dogfather

Leslie Smith Editor in Chief of DogTime.com
Leslie Smith, Editor in Chief
Friday November 4th, 2011

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I’d never thought of my dad as a dog person. Not anti-dog, of course — we’d had two purebred Cocker Spaniels when I was growing up. But Buffy and Coco lived outside year-round, and Dad spoke of them with approximately the same level of fondness he’d describe a tuna fish sandwich or the chance to play checkers.

Truth is, he’s not a particularly demonstrative guy to begin with. We’ve always gotten along well — sharing similar senses of humor and a love of the written word — but over the years friends have admitted it’s taken a while to get comfortable around him. Acquaintances have politely called him “stoic” or “deadpan.” A few have said “intimidating.” Think Clint Eastwood (without all the pesky emotion).

So about this time last year when my father announced he was thinking of adopting a dog, I literally did not believe him. Not that you need to be ol’ Sappy-Pants like me to appreciate a pet, I just had never known him to be particularly interested in canines — or rescue. What’s more, Dad’s deep voice hovers somewhere in the decibel range of James Earl Jones clearing his throat. Hearing him coo at a shy shelter pup seemed about as likely as witnessing him host a tea party with my teddy bears.

But as my dad sent me links to various dog profiles from local shelters and rescue groups in his area, I began to realize he was serious about this. Why do you want a dog? I’d ask him over email. He never responded with any degree of insight, usually something along the lines of: Because there are no decent zebra rescues around.

It was a few days before Christmas when Dad announced he was going to meet a three-year-old Boxer — a cancer survivor who isn’t great around other dogs. That ought to nip this in the bud, I thought. Five minutes with a high energy breed who’ll need training, vet care, walks, poop pick-ups, etc., and my dad will move on to talking about taking barbeque classes or investing in a classic car.

So I was in no way prepared for what happened next. My dad didn’t just hit it off with this dog — now called Xena — he went totally coconuts.

From the beginning, he took Xena everywhere. Each morning he goes out to get his coffee and each morning Xena hops in the car to go with him. I swear, my dad used to roll his eyes at people like that: Who takes their dog with them to get coffee? But the routine stuck. Now, they not only enjoy their daily Starbucks ritual, Xena goes along for Home Depot errands or trips just to fill up the tank.

Pretty soon I started to get emails that sounded less like the reserved, almost macho-type I’d always known my dad to be and more like… well… me:

“Xena… constantly amazes me with her ability to communicate. She pretty clearly lets me know what she wants... She's real good about noticing anything out of place, and I know she understands what I am telling her. Pretty cool dog!”

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Dad and Xena

I’m not sure which one of the two of them appears more proud as they take their walks around the neighborhood. They make a striking couple, each large for their species and with a commanding presence. Dad praises Xena as she pees only on the curb — never on someone’s lawn — which I used to attribute to my father being neighborly. Now I’m convinced he just wants to show off how well behaved and beautifully trained his dog is.

I remember when I first told him we were paying for Uno to go to doggie daycare (we didn't want our pup to spend long stretches during the work week all alone). He nodded and said “Oh, uh-huh.” But I knew he was thinking, “My daughter has lost it. I don’t want to be around when she starts talking about getting that mutt an ipad.”

So I keep waiting for the honeymoon period to wear off, for my dad to stop reporting on Xena’s antics or taking endless photos of her on their adventures together. But he never does. Life with Xena stories arrive regularly. I get emails in which he truly marvels at — and savors — the human-animal connection:

“Xena understands a lot: I ask her if she wants to play with her ‘outside ball.’ She gets all excited so I tell her to meet me outside and she tears open the back door and patiently waits. So cute.”

Cute? I don’t think I’d ever heard my dad use that word before, and certainly never preceded by “so." Like I said, there are many things we’ve shared over the years — a propensity for writing, Coen brothers movies, and hot beverages to name a few. But I hadn’t expected him to ever truly understand what my dogs mean to me.

What happened? I’m not sure, other than that Xena happened and my dad is now somewhat of a different guy. Something about that dog changed him from a dogs are fine in the yard type of person to an I have no choice but to let this big baby sit on my lap type of person.

So maybe it’s not for me to question. Maybe taking in a totally innocent soul with nowhere to turn affects someone in ways you’d never be able to predict. Or maybe my love of animals is less unique and more universal than I’m ready to admit. If that’s the case, I’m thrilled to welcome my father to the club.

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Lap dog Xena

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NewLifeRescue

My father was the same way over the years he had a variety of animals, including a feral rabbit he would put out left over vegetables for and pot bellied pig that ate his kitchen flooring. All of the animals in his life were gone within 6 months of arriving. Most went to great homes others were feral in nature and simply returned to their wild state and stopped coming around. But my husband and I came across a dog who desperately needed a foster home. My Dad offered to keep her for a time until we could get her vetted and find her a forever home. Her name was Casey. She was a black pit bull who had been removed from a dog fighting ring. She was great with humans but not housetrained, sexually intact, and had no social skills of any kind what so ever. For 6 months my Dad fostered Casey, in the meantime he helped us by paying to have her altered, microchipped, heartworm tested, and all of her preventative vet medications. Casey must have changed my Dad in some way. After 6 months he decided that Casey was his soulmate and he couldn't part with her. She road everywhere with him and he would call us daily to tell us about her latest antics. She slept every night in his bed, something unheard of from my father and when Casey underwent surgery and almost died my Father slept on the floor next to her in order to have someone near her in case she needed something during the night. My father then decided that there were a lot of dogs like Casey who needed someone to step in and take a more active role in helping them find great homes. So together with my Husband and myself the three of us began our High Risk Pit bull rescue called New Life Rescue. We took in dogs who had health or behavioral problems that made them unadoptable by societies standards. My Father would carry around a photo album like most grandfathers carry around pictures of their grandkids. He would speak fondly of each and every dog in our care. He paid for the spay or neuter of several dogs as well as fostering additional dogs in his home. All the while bragging about how Casey was teaching them what it was to be a companion. My Father passed away on October 24, 2011. He and Casey had only been together for 2 years but he made arrangements for her future care in his will. I think Casey made my Dad into a better man in the last two years of his life. She helped him evolve from a generation who only saw dogs and cats as objects and helped him understand that they are living breathing beings who deserve love and respect. Casey is living out her remaining years with my husband and I. She is still a companion dog and after my Dad's death we were afraid we would lose her to mourning. She would sit in his favorite chair and refuse to eat or budge, only leaving it long enough for potty breaks and an occasional head scratch. I think sometimes things happen in our life to help us evolve into better people. Dad requested that he be cremated and his ashes held. He wanted to remain with us until Casey could join him in the next life in our family gravesite. I am honoring his wishes. Casey will remain as a family companion until she passes and her ashes will be put into a smaller version of my Father's urn and placed next to him in our family graveyard. She was his soul mate, of that I have no doubt. She made him into a better human being. And isn't the whole definition of a soul mate.

over 1 year ago by NewLifeRescue

Janice

Sometimes it just takes one...your father was a closet dog lover. I have boxers and I thank my dad for that. I'll never be without one again....rescue of course. janice & marciano

over 1 year ago by Janice

Amy Shojai, CABC

Lovely post. Isn't it great how that first heart-dog makes such a profound difference for both the pet AND the owner?!

over 1 year ago by Amy Shojai, CABC

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