Cowboy the Doberman has never known a hard day in his life, and he intends to keep it that way. Instagram user @honkifyoulovemydog posted a video breaking down exactly why this pampered dog would not survive in the wild, and the evidence is in his super luxurious lifestyle. The narration walks through his non-negotiables — everything from his comfort blankie to his hatred for flies — and it is hilarious.
Dog’s luxurious lifestyle makes wilderness survival impossible
First up in the dog’s comfort lifestyle is his blankie time. Cowboy demands to be tucked in daily, preferably with his feet sticking up toward the ceiling, which he clearly would not get in the wild. No blankie, no deal. Then come his jammies, and since the wild does not provide cozy sleepwear, the Doberman has no reliable way to get warm and snug without them.
Besides, his toys are another reason to stick around for. He adores squeaking them and showing them off to anyone who will watch, and a life without his plushies is not a life he is interested in.
Weather conditions are where the wilderness truly loses him. Rain ruins his whole mood, and even a little drizzle would “make him angry that I would even consider making him leave the house.” Moreover, cold, snow, wind, hail, sun, heat, all of it gets a hard pass. Thunder somehow is on the maybe list, but flies are his number 1 enemy. That’s where he draws a firm line, and the outdoors is unfortunately full of them.
Judging from the dog’s lifestyle and his avoidance of the wild, a viewer commented, “His name should have been Diva.” Another added, “Cowboy could be my spirit animal.” A fan of his sleeping style wrote, “My favorite Cowboy move (and there are soooo many!) is the legs straight up while snoozing – classic!”
This Doberman is a creature of comfort and absolutely not cut out for survival beyond the cozy sheets.
