Product Review: Neuticles

Pet Product Review – Neuticles

Ok, it’s Halloween, so I thought I’d write about the greatest costume of all Neuticles. Neuticles? You ask? What are they?

Neuticles are testicular implants for pets. Neuticles are available for canines, felines, equine, bulls or any pet which is neutered. Go figure! Silicon isn’t just for Hollywood babes anymore. Here is want a Neuticle looks like:

neutical original

Now seriously, animal population control is very important. Bob Barker has been telling us that ever since we were little. But according to the the folks at Neuticles, Over 80% of pet owners for various reasons hesitate or even refuse to neuter their pet. We won’t go into the “various reasons”. But, hey, more power to them. If Neuticles makes them feel better about doing their small part to control animal overpopulation, I am 100% behind this product.

Now what I don’t understand is that you implant Neuticals years after the pet has been neutered. This gap baffles me. Does the pet wake up after surgery and say “OMG. I’ve got balls” and feel sexier? I mean come on, that’s like 14 years. I think they’ve gotten used to space between their leg.

Now, I’ve never shopped around for implants; so I was surprised to find that a pair of canine Polyprophylene Neuticals starts at $109 per pair, feline Neuticles start a bit lower. Obviously the price goes ups depending on the size and type of the animal. Neuticles®ULTRAPLUS® Featuring ScarRetard and Epididymis for an XXL dog will cost $1299. has a complete sizing chart to reference. Cost for Neuticles do not include the cost of surgery.

Also, on the website you may download important brochures and get vet information. There is a very interesting video that shows the simplicity and effectiveness of the operation. I was going to post this video but thought it was too early in the morning for most readers. Do not implant Neuticles at home.

On the website you will also find testimonials. My favorite: “He’s a guy and I wanted him to remain looking like one.” Lane Hinderman – Metairie, Louisiana

When you do opt for the Neuticles lifestyle, don’t forget to visit the Neuticle’s Market Place. There you will find gifts for the entire family, including:


neuticle earings

BBQ aprons:


or casual beach reading:

going nuts

I’m at a loss for words……………. Happy Howl-O-Ween.

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