As dog parents, we have to deal with all kinds of comments from people throwing unwanted advice our way, but our dogs’ behavior usually isn’t nearly as bad as the tiny humans running around the neighborhood. So we sit in silent judgment of kids, holding back everything we want to say to their parents. If only we could open up the floodgates and let them know everything they’re doing wrong. We could give them such great advice as experienced dog parents. Here are 10 things we always want to say to parents of children.
1. Your Kid Really Should Be On-Leash
My dog is well-behaved on our walks. He probably doesn’t need to be on a leash all the time, but there are laws about that kind of thing, both for the protection of others and for my dog. Rambunctious children, however, are allowed to roam free and cause all the destruction they like. Human kids are definitely more deserving of leash laws than dogs.
2. Have You Considered Changing His Diet?
Parents feed their kids all sorts of sugary cereals, fast food, and candy that are completely unhealthy and lead to a lot of their bad behavior. When parents are shrugging and saying, “Oh, what am I going to do with him?” we’d all like to yell, “Feed him a vegetable once in a while.” But that’s none of our business, right? Meanwhile we make sure our pups stick to strict diets that promote health and wellness. Maybe we just care more.
3. They Have Training Classes For That
When a puppy is misbehaving, training classes can help with obedience and proper behavior. Surely there must be something available for children that act like wild animals. If only we could suggest these classes to their parents. Most kids could use some obedience training.
4. So You’re Still Working On “Sit” And “Stay” Then?
My dogs mastered “sit” and “stay” right away. They were two of the first commands we worked on. But try telling a kid to “sit” and “stay”. Within seconds they’re fidgeting and looking around to see where they can run off to. We’d love to tell parents that they have to practice these commands and maybe use some positive reinforcement. How else will they learn?
5. Have You Tried A Soft Muzzle?
People complain about dogs barking, but I’d say that the things that come out of the mouths of children are way more offensive and annoying. If you’ve ever heard a kid ask, “Why?” for ten minutes straight, you’ve probably had the thought that a soft muzzle would solve the problem pretty quickly. And it would make biting less likely, too.
6. Socialization Could Fix That
Puppies that are socialized early learn how to properly act around other dogs and people. Human children could probably benefit from the same training, but they’re stuck inside watching television. If they could just spend some time learning how to meet new people and interact, we might all be better off as a society, but for some reason only dogs are supposed to be socialized. Let’s socialize people.
7. You Should Take Him To The Groomer
We’ve all met that kid who could use a haircut, a nail trimming, and a bath. When our dogs get in that shape, we’ve got to head to the groomer and make sure they get all the pampering they need. If only parents of human kids felt as strongly about their stinky, shaggy kids.
8. Have You Tried Crate Training?
Crate training is an important thing for dogs. It gives them a safe space to retreat where they can feel less anxious, and it can keep some of the nervous behavior from separation anxiety in check. I’m not saying keeping a kid in a crate is a good thing, but having a safe, secure place–a place they can’t escape from and cause problems–would probably be a benefit. Like a kiddie crate.
9. You Should Keep His Microchip Updated
We responsible dog parents make sure our pups’ tags and chips are completely up-to-date because, if the worst should happen, we want our dogs brought back to us as quickly as possible. Why don’t human kids get the same thing? Kids aren’t on leashes all the time, and they seem way more likely to get lost. Making sure they have a chip is just responsible parenting, right?
10. Have You Considered Adoption Before Breeding?
Adopting a dog is an amazing thing. You’re helping a pup in need find a loving forever home and helping other dogs by freeing up resources for the shelter. But some people insist on going to a breeder. The same can be said of humans. If everyone adopted, we’d have a lot less kids without homes, but people just need to pass on their perfect genes. Why not adopt first?
What would you like to say to the parents of human children? Do you say these things or hold your tongue? Let us know in the comments below!