lost my little Homer

Homer was my heart. He was a little rat terrier. I got him as a birthday present to myself, and for the last ten years we were inseparable.

He got sick—the vet thought it was Lyme disease but he didn’t respond to the antibiotics. We did tests, but nothing came back positive. He went blind—vet said it was cataracts, but I had this awful feeling. We started other meds, he seemed to be getting better, not much, but then he took a drastic turn for the worse and died in my arms in the small hours of the morning.

My family loved him too, but they seem to have gotten beyond it, something I don’t seem to be able to do. I work from home, and he was always with me, by me, in my lap, at my feet… We hiked, camped, canoed, slept, ate, did everything together. I feel like my heart is breaking more each day. Every thing I do I am so aware of his absence.

I have never missed anyone so much in my life as I do my little boy. I feel that the sweetest thing in my life is gone. He had always been so healthy, and with his breed and size his life expectancy was up to 17 years. I am still in shock, I cry for hours each day.

I have loved and lost many wonderful dogs in my life, but Homer’s death is the worst.

Kate

Kate, I completely understand what you are going through… I lost my boy, Tobey, on New Year’s Eve. Here is a beautiful poem that helped me immensely during my grieving:

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all our special friends so they can run play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…

Author unknown..

Please try to take some comfort from this poem and know that there are a lot of amazing people on this website that are here for you and willing to lend you a shoulder to cry on and ear to listen. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

hi,

I’m so sorry you have to go through that.

If you’ve shared your heart and home with a dog, you will no doubt feel a great sense of loss and sorrow when you lose her. No matter how old your dog was, how many years you had together, or how expected her death, the grief can be overwhelming.

hope this will lessen the burden:

http://dogtime.com/grief.html

Hi Kate…I am about to go through the very same thing. My 13 year old dog Spirit had been diagnosed with lymphoma and has been given about 2 – 3 weeks to live. He is my life. He goes to work with me and everywhere else. My back seat is all his…all his blankets and pillows. He doesnt like sharing his backseat with anyone! How can I look back there when hes gone. How can I look at the empty spot behind my desk???? Or his beds at home, my bed…he sleeps with me. I go to my moms and pictures are everywhere. I feel I’m going to lose my mind and I feel like reaching out to you as you obviously feel the same way. I hope we can be of some comfort to each other. I’m very sorry four your loss just know that you are NOT alone ok?

Hi Kate….I wasn’t expecting how soon I would lose my Spirit. He died the day after I wrote my last post. It was very sudden, in the middle of the night. He passed away at 4am Sat Sept 6th. I went home, put his stuff away and went to my moms for a few days. It is so hard. The hardest thing i’ve ever had to go through to date. It’s been over a week and I still find myself looking for him, putting my bowl down for him to lick etc etc….I can honestly say that for the first time in my life, my heart has been TRULY broken. I miss him so but life must go on…I’ve deicded to get tons of different sized pics in frames and dedicate one of my living room walls to him as a “memory” wall so he will always be there!