“My dog Champ was certainly my baby. He passed recently. But I can assure you that he was considered and adored nothing less than my very own son. ”
— todddonohuejr,
May 18 2009
“Absolutely !! I totally agree. My dog, Bubba, is 2 years old. He is my first dog and I am 47 with two grown children. I never had the chance to experience the "empty nest" syndrome since I adopted my kid! I tease my grown children that their "little brother" is better behaved then they were at the same age. Bubba listens, they didn't, Bubba appreciates me, they didn't, Bubba likes everything I cook for him, they didn't, Bubba can entertain himself for hours, they were constantly telling me "I'm bored!". The list could go on and on. Don't get me wrong, I adore my children but the relationship you have with your dog just can't compare. Now my children are off on their own and they each have their own four legged best friend. ”
— Tracey,
May 12 2009
“Yes!Gracie is my baby.I don't have any children,so Gracie has become my girl.I talk to her,feed her special treats and cook her food for mealtimes.I figure that it is the least I can do for all the love,laughs and compaionship she gives me.”
— summerbuddy,
May 06 2009
“Been that (not quite as far)
Done that (not quite as intense)
My "baby" will be 4 years old in June. I will be 78 this month.”
— janko,
May 06 2009
“Thank you so much for this much needed information. For me, because I could have been the one to have written it, or something very similar to it. And for others who do have some kind of need to look down at me when I dare refer to the dogs in front of them as my "kiddos." I have almost grown accustomed and even expect such things at this point.
Often, when corosponding in emails, or in chat rooms, or even in profiles on certain sites, I do talk about my "kids", when asked how old they are, I tell them. I answer every question they ask, honestly. On occassion, a question will be asked that no answer would be appropriate, given the idea that my "child" was human. I am 45, and I have no "human" children or a "human" "partner." The only way I have ever refered to the species of animal, I have chosen to share my life with, is that of a "child" or a "kid". I have read articles concerning certain disorders and syndromes, "people like me have" regarding this subject and really, at first it was a bit insulting, and then after stopping to consider all of these "opinions' regarding something the person writing them has obviously never experienced, it became clear as to exactly why they viewed myself and others in such a way as they did.
You see, I am, by profession an animal trainer. I have worked mainly with zoo mammals and marine mammals, but certainly with dogs and other domestics as well.
There came a period of time in my life when I had a very serious break down. I lost the only "human" in my life that I ever was certain really loved me. After which, I lost a job of 15 years and one I had planned to retire with, becuse of a very serious major depressive onset. I tried to continue working, and after 3 failed attempts, I was forced to live with my mother. She and I are nothing short of exact oposite and of course that means, she had no care or concern for any tpype of animal existing outside of her own species at all. I had no where to go, and she was kind enough to use this, and deny my dogs access to the house. I know it is hard to believe, but I am serious when I say that for 8 years, I did nothing but stay in a bed, only to get up to ensure that my "kids" were fed and had plenty of fresh water. This became my only reason for existence. Nothing else was keeping me from removing myself from this world.
The pain was something that cannot be described, and I certainly would not wish anyone to endure it, in order to understand.
Finally, something happened that triggered an uncontrollabe anger in me that completely detached me from reality. With that trigger, I blew up, and every bit of anger and bitterness of the previous 8 years came rushing out of me uncontrollable. Without going into the details, I ended up in the hospital, and as suspected, I had no where to go, once I was released. Through the hospital, a boarding home facility was contacted, and the manager came to interview me. The cost was more than I could really afford, but what choice did I have? What would have made or broke my going there would have been, of course, their acceptance of my "kids." Without that, we would have had to have lived on the streets, because there was no way I was seperating myself from them for anyone, ever again. At the time, they had never even considered whether or not to accept pets, and the manager, interviewing assured me that something could be worked out.
Off I went, with none of my possessions, In a truck, with two unfamiliar people, being taken to a place where people suffering from mental illnesses were offered a place to live, and call home, and have their needs met.
Certainly I was scared to death. Who would not have been? Mentally ill? It does sound scary, but that is because of the many stigmas that people attach to that which they are ignorant of. Myself being one of them.
These people, the people who gave me my life back, by not only offering a place to live to me and my kids, but also offering an actuall job position in one of the homes on the property. I was not out of the woods with depression at this point, but not being able to afford to live comfortablly, and fearing I would, once again, cause harm to my dogs, due to financial needs, I accepted the position, and moved into the house.
I had chosen the field of animal training for a reason, and it was not related to that which would involve caring and providing for humans. It was very difficult for me, but it gave me a purpose to get out of bed, and to focus on the needs of other people. Meaning, there was something that needed me, in some way, outside of my own kids.
My kids were back, living inside a home, where their mother lived, and actually sleeping in the very same bed with her <gasp>
The severity of the pain caused by the depression began to ease up and I began to feel a bit better. I was given the position of "supervisor", so more focus was needed on my part. My oldest girl is 14yrs old. Her daughter is 9yrs old. I have border collies, so anyone knowing that breed, perhaps also knows how sensitive they are to any type of change. With consideration and a very long and thoughtful process, regarding the 9yr old, I worried about, what I really hate to even think of, but is a part of life, her mother's eventual arrival at the rainbow bridge, and her being left alone. It took me so long to make the final decision, but I did bring a son, into the family. What happened from there is nothing short of a miracle.
With children, as you know, and of course, I knew, there must be lessons. I could have chosen to train him at home, but, honestly, my confidence level was at empty, and I am a stong believer in the socialization process. So I chose rather to enroll in classes, once I found a trainer and program I felt met my standards (not to sound snobbish) Once I got my groove back, and returned to my natural element, I came back to life.
All due to the "syndrome" or "disorder" which forced me to get up every day to ensure that at least basic needs were met. 8 years my kids lived like that.
Since I escaped the prison my mother had kept me in, I have never gotten a dirty look, a complaint, a groan, or anything resembling a sort of 'resentment" from those indiviual beings which I had put through hell. Without skipping a beat, they did not hesitate to accept me back into their lives, they did not judge me for what I had put them through, they were only happy that they were able to be with me again. The lesson I learned from them can never be taught by any other species of animal other than that of a "dog." No animal of any species I had ever been exposed to, domestic or otherwise has ever shown the amount pure unbridled love that those 2 kids have shown, and really, all of the kids I have shared with throughout my life. It became so clear that real love, as I would define it, does not tend to exist in the world of humans. There are always some sort of conditions in place in any human relationship. If it be the ten commandments, or marriage vows, humans set up boundries on which to love and show compassion.
My very own human family has never shown what my current kids offer every minute I am in their presence.
Oh, and just to inform you all, once I moved out of my mother's house, and had no real interest to return, my dogs suddenlly became welcomed into her house.
She actually allows them in the house to draw me to her home now, because it was made clear to anyone and everyone involved, if my kids could not come, I really have no desire to be there either.
How could a mother deny her daughter, who was very ill, and wanted so much to end her life, but remained, to ensure her kids would not pay the price for her death. How could she use her power of knowing I had nowhere else to go, against me and the ones who I loved? She now allows my dogs to run all over the house and do everything I know she hates, but in trying to maintain my presence in her life, allows.
This is why people who write articles such as I mentioned way pack in this post. They cannot understand something they have not experienced. And they will not give themselves the chance to even try to experience such a thing.
Instead, they would rather ridicule, ad belittle, those who actually have experience the unconditional love that the all too taken advantage of, "dog" delivers without fail.
I feel sorry for anyone who denys themselves having the comfort and inner warmth of this experience that humans simply cannot live up to. It is not an attempt to insult people. It is a very real fact.
I may take this matter to an extreme that the average person who refers to their dog as a "kid", would never approach. I understand and fully accept that.
I would never expect anyone to think like I think or feel like I feel.
But, if you do not mind, I will now enjoy this personal gift, at every level possible, and of course, to anyone who may even be thinking such, sexual as well. No, I do not consider that at all. In case there may be those who are unaware, love and sex are not synonomous, and to consider the idea that, when referrng to love, as that involving sex, is the same as thinking I would also molest children or murder people.
I do not even induldge in such matters as sexual activities within my species. And there are people who would actually just think I am "weird" enough to call my "dogs' kids, and to profess "love' of my "kids" , and wonder if I am also "weird" enough to do that as well. That does not fall within the realm of "weird". And for those who may think it, I would see a therapist if I were you.
I am currently working on an assistance dog training program, with focus on psychiatric illnesses. ( of course) I no longer hhold any stigmas concering the isue, due to being exposed to it and learning and I am so happy I have. I also make every attempt to not attach stigmas to anything or anyone at all. People can be so hateful and often, all they need to do is to simply pick up a book or go to a website and actually learn about something they may not understand, which causes fear, and a need to lash out in defense.
The crime is not ignorance, but the willingness to remain in it.
I also have removed myself from my family and a weight I had no idea existed was removed from my soul.
I appreciate this chance to post this long and very drawn out story of my last 9 years. I did not set out to take my post as far as I have.
Anyone who has remained to the end, thank you for your patience in allowing me to express myself, and to share my own experiences of feeling true love from my Kids.
We all wish everyone the best.”
— bc44,
Apr 30 2009
